First of all, say the title out loud. It is an absolute joy to have spilling from your mouth. Debunk the Bunk. It’s just fun to say.

Okay, that’s out of the way.

I read an article from Reuters Online that the British royal family has a new website with a page that is wholly used to debunk various swirling and titillating myths about Prince Charles. Apparently the Prince of Wales does not consume seven eggs for breakfast every day. Tragic.

It got me wondering what it must be like to feel the need to produce a document that is solely meant to debunk fallacious beliefs about one’s self, beliefs held by a body of humans you have never and probably will never meet. I find that utterly fascinating.

It brought to mind a quotation from Jake Tapper’s devastating book The Outpost. This is a paraphrase, but he wrote that it was disheartening to the troops in Afghanistan that the American public was more interested in the daily life of Britney Spears than in the life and death struggles of the young American warriors so far from home.

I don’t understand the fascination with famous people. Especially if that fascination is showered on semi-despicable and seemingly shallow publicity gigolos (I used the term “gigolos” here because I didn’t want you to think that I lumped Britney into that milieu. Her music is transcendent. Call me.)

I think I might put up a new page on my website that is totally devoted to debunking myths about me.

I don’t really know of any myths about me.

The five of you who read this blog may have heard something. I doubt it, but the world is a strange and magical place where nearly anything can happen. See the Britney Spears comment above (call me).

I think my first debunked myth might be this: It is categorically untrue that JASON ALBERTY has ever taken peyote within the continental United States.

Or: While Mr. Alberty (I like that better) has performed the roles of women on stage for multiple productions it is untrue that he performed those roles wearing thongs. Mr. Alberty eschews all forms of undergarments.

Or: It is true that Mr. Alberty freezes over-ripe bananas. However they are used almost exclusively for the Yonana.

Hmm…yes, this web page might have legs. And no, Frank, I don’t shave mine any more.

Perhaps a web page like this might fuel the public interest in the mysterious and fascinating personality that is Jason Tiberius Alberty. Perhaps if the right person reads such a web page they might want to contact J-Tib about a lucrative writing contact. Or a reality show—Gettin’ Glib with the J-Tib on VH2.

Tasty. The possibilities this world holds within the mind of a single man… I feel my fifteen minutes formulating in the ether right now. I need to call a publicist…any publicist.

And, look people, my middle name is not Tiberius. I wish you would stop spreading such scurrilous and ridiculous rumors. Do a little research before you interview me, would you.